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Aug 22, 2012

Top 10 bad wine ideas of our time

1. Lindeman's Tropicana cooler A 250ml, brightly coloured Tetra Pak with straw, withdrawn after the federal government suggested it may be attractive to children.

2. Penfolds Blue Rhapsody Sparkling wine of the '70s with slightly blue-ish colour. Withdrawn because of its similarity (in colour) to kerosene.

3. Bacardi Limon rum The marketing idea was to spray the citrus-infused rum over commuters waiting at bus stops. The spicy, lemon scent floating on 35 per cent alcohol was not selective about over whom it wafted. In bus stops near schools, the potential targets included young children and teenagers

4. The Little Penguin personality test ''Take the test to help find your ideal wine match and all you have to do is think like the little guy himself.'' The test identified ''alpha males'' and ''home-making ladybirds'' … which are not exactly 21st-century archetypes.

5. Wynn's Domain Plastic wine bottle released in mid-'80s. The idea stank (literally) because wine was found to be incompatible with the plastic used.

6. Kanga Rouge and Wallaby White Marketing-led initiative in the late '70s to get the Poms to try Australian wines. Thankfully, Platypop sparkling never got off the drawing board.

7. Yalumba racehorse ports Collector series of vintage ports marketed under the names of prominent thoroughbreds starting with Without Fear (1976) and ending with Placid Ark (1986). Led to many imitations but no one made any money.

8. Kaiser Stuhl Pineapple Pearl Released in early '60s to capitalise on the success of Orlando's Barossa Pearl, this pearl came in a ceramic pineapple-shaped bottle.

9. Fake cellar dust Looks kind of stupid on a new-release $6 red.

10. Hardys The Duet Could hold 1.5 litres of wine and was flattened on two sides to fit into a fridge door. Died soon after release in 1985.